I learned a new word today: Misandry.
According to Wikipedia, that font of all online knowledge
Now, as a huge fan of words (and a curious little bugger, to boot) I would be amazed if I didn’t already know the word. It was probably tucked away in a little-visited corner of my mind.
I’ve truly had my eyes opened today. Whilst researching Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), I happened upon an article on a wonderful little site called Return Of The King. It was titled “Don’t Date Girls with Borderline Personality Disorder” and took the form of a tirade about how women with this particular (and distressing) Mental Health Problem were attention seeking sluts. How no amount of “great sex” or no matter “how hot they are” should excuse getting involved with the satanic little harlots. Beautifully written, intelligent words for the modern “Red Pill Man” to live by. It even went as far as to include a step by step guide for getting The Crazy L’il Bitch to text you and say that sex was consensual, for fear of false rape allegation.
To save me ranting further, please see link below…
The reason for my researching BPD is concerns stemming from my experiences in some (not all) of my past relationships. I seem to be a magnet for the broken, the chronic drug user, the problem drinker. I always thought this was down to a desire to nurture and help people, but recently I’ve begun to wonder if there is more behind it. Whether it stems from some unconscious desire to heal myself, to take up a cause and succeed. Am I really that manipulative? Doesn’t everyone have it in them to a degree, but does that make it right? In May, I left a relationship with an abusive ex after taking a second beating from him. I left him a week after the first incident in March, but we drifted back together. I believed we were meant to be together and we could overcome our problems. I was very wrong. After much thought, I reported his actions to the police. Although he admitted the charges, he broke his bail conditions by making contact and spent a month in prison as a result. Last Monday, I attended court for his sentencing and decided to let that be the end of any involvement I had with him.
Despite everything, I don’t hate him. I know my own behaviour during the relationship sometimes left a lot to be desired. I’m not for a minute saying I deserved to be beaten up however. I’ve learned that two broken people can’t have a healthy relationship. It’s simply not possible and not a path I’ll be following again. I’ve also decided that broken people have the power to seek help…I don’t know that I’ll ever be “fixed”, but I’ve certainly been taking steps to understand why my relationships turn nasty. I’ve also been eating more healthily, taking exercise and my sleep patterns have settled down. I have an appointment with a clinical psychologist next month and am not afraid of what I may find out.
Reading the raft of resentment and prejudice against people with BPD (especially women) was a bit of a slap in the face, but not entirely unexpected. I certainly don’t intend to embark on another relationship until I better understand why things have fallen apart in the past. My attitude to sex and relationships is already changing.
I feel a hell of a lot stronger, but I know I have a long way to go.
So in answer to my own question: No, I don’t believe I am a misandrist. There have been times when I’ve hated men’s behaviour, and to be truthful women’s too. People can be total shits. It’s not fair to tar everyone with the same brush though. It’s also possible to hate the behaviour but not the person. I hope that rules out my being a misanthropist too.
I look forward to the day when I can begin to trust people again. Whilst remaining nobody’s fool.